I know this isn’t a forcing myself happy thing (I will blog about today’s happy thing later on) but it makes me happy to talk about it.
I wanted to tell a story about two amazing people who were in my life when I was younger and how they affected my life in such a good way.
The were called Mr and Mrs Miller and were my next door neighbours. When I was brought home from the hospital after being born Mr and Mrs miller were there to see me apparently. (It’s making me cry just thinking about them as they gave me so much and I just hope they knew how much I loved them. Sometimes you don’t truly appreciate the old people in your life until you are older yourself)
Actually, my whole neighbourhood was filled with old people; there was The man with the tortoise that I would visit, another guy who had loads of interesting stuff in his house like goat skin drums, there was ‘evil nancy’ who said that you had to put salt on birds tails so they couldn’t fly!! (I never did that!) She would give me a foosty old toffee out of a box and If I looked at the clock she would say ‘It’s very rude to check the time. I still visited her! (I know now she was lonely), There was the woman who made me polish all her brass when I visited. There was hundreds of it! I would be there for hours! Then there was the woman upstairs from her who has the ‘bad nephew’ that I wasn’t allowed to play with because he stole the wheels off my wee scooter to make a go-kart!
The Millers- As soon as I walked into their house it smelled of pancakes and all sorts of interesting things. Mrs millers pancakes were the most perfect pancakes I have ever tasted in my whole life. She had a huge plant at the top of her stairs (I think it was a busy Lizzy) that she fed tea to. Their house was peaceful and a safe haven for me as my house was very shouty.
They had chairs each side of the fire, on the left Mr Miller who would smoke his Benson and hedges (He only smoked one or two a day I seem to remember) and on the right Mrs miller would sit. Mr miller had a throaty laugh and a smiling face. When I was small they had a dog called Jock and Mr miller and I would take him for a walk and pick wild mushrooms which Mrs Miller would cook when we came back. Thinking about it maybe that is why I love mushrooms, I think they remind me of the millers.
Mr and Mrs Miller helped out during WW2, she was a nurse at Hairmyres hospital during which you might be interested to know George Orwell stayed as a patient in 1946 when he was in the middle of writing 1984. Mr Miller was a watchman-he said it was quite boring and he mainly played chess, which he taught me at an early age. I still have the worn out chess set he gave me. One king doesn’t have a head and the other is stuck on with blue tac but aside from that it is still perfect.
Mr Miller had a red car for a while, they would take me for drives in the country and to the garden centre where there was a minor bird called Charlie who would say ‘You canny say shenanigans’
While I loved Mr Miller it was Mrs Miller who was my favourite. Because of their war effort they never has time to have children (My mum told me this later) so they spoiled me rotten. They certainly had a way with children and would have made wonderful parents.
Mrs Miller taught me so many lessons; How to free birds from strawberry nets-when I freed them I would hold onto them and they would bite me. She taught me that some things would rather be doing their own thing, flying free than being held onto. She taught me about the flowers in her garden and about nature and the animals of Scotland. There was a small old wooden seat outside Mr Millers greenhouse (where he grew the best tomatoes ever..I think the smell of tomatoes of the vine is like nature encapsulated and is so comforting still to this day to me.) Anyway, this small seat opened up and there were always earwigs running about in it. When my mum came into Mrs millers garden to see what I was up to Mrs Miller would say ‘She is playing with her little friends’ and my mum would freak out a bit and say ‘YUCK!’ – I was taught to respect all nature and to be still and to let it come to me if it wanted.
While I was spoiled by them and taught many things they also taught me manners!! If I got annoyed because I was losing at ludo Mrs Miller would say ‘Shut up shop’ and the game would be shut over! haha It makes me laugh because we have a wee boy we look after sometimes and when he has a tantrum when we are playing a game he gets three chances then it is ‘Shut up shop’ for him!! It happened the other day when I was showing him to play chess (On the very set Mr Miller gave me) He started crying because he was losing. (He is nine has only played twice! Very competitive) at first he got a cuddle and comforted, then I explained to him how difficult chess was and it would take him a while to understand it.. then it was ‘Shut up shop’ -which actually worked best of all because he calmed down and I saw him out of the corner of my eye opening the chess set and trying to remember where the pieces went.
I have lots of other memories, of them teaching me the rules of snooker, on a black and white tv!! of me playing with a box of delights for hours which was basically a magnet and a lot of safely pins. I remember when my wee brother was born Mrs Miller walking with me hand in hand past the giant trees that almost guarded the houses and a bird pooping on me. She said when that happens it means luck and it was because I was getting a new baby brother.
If I could meet them again even for a moment I don’t even know how I would begin to thank them. They taught me so much about life, about patience, about having manners, about treating animals and people with love, kindness and respect and a million other things.
Mr miller died first. This was just before I was a teenager. I had my friends that I wanted to play with and I only remember visiting Mrs miller a few times and I hope she understood. I think I thought she would last forever. Another lesson she taught me. I think I must have been about 13 and it was the first time I think she talked to me as an adult. When I asked her how she was she said ‘Ach, I miss Archie’. I remember being silent and not knowing what to say. (there is nothing) I held her hand.
When she was dying in hospital she was upset because she couldn’t remember what her house looked like. I told her you walk up the stairs and on the left there is a busy lizzy plant (It was still there and massive!) you turn to the left and go up a couple more stairs (we lived in houses that were like two flats) and your kitchen is on your left and your bedroom on the right, you walk forward and thats where your living room is and on the left of that another spare room. She smiled at me and said thank you. She also talked about The wee squirrels that came to her hospital windowsill to visit her. we thought she was hallucinating but when my mum trained to be a nurse later she worked in the Care of the elderly ward and said that it was true and the squirrels did pop their heads in the window.
She died when she was in her 80′s and I was heartbroken. I never realised at the time though quite how much she had been a part of my life and how much she had shaped me as a person. I just hope Mr and Mrs Miller knew how much I loved them.
I think its disgraceful the way old people in this country are treated. When you go to Spain you see all the old people sitting outside talking. In some tribes the oldest people are revered elders and make the decisions for the tribe. Western society forgets how much old people have to give I think. A society that doesn’t treat it’s old people with love, care and respect becomes quite soulless I think.
It sounds strange perhaps but I want more old people In my life. I want to listen to their stories and wisdom. I think we could all do with having more old people in our lives. I know not everyone was lucky enough to have a Mr and Mrs miller but I know most of you will have had elderly people in your lives that have shaped who you are in some way.
When I get better and I manage to get my anxiety under control I would love to take my guitar to an old folks home and sing some songs or even when I am getting better just go along for a chat with the residents. This would selfishly make me happy I know it but I hope it would make the old folks happy too.
I know this was a bit off course.. but I wanted to tell you about the wonderful people who shaped me and made my childhood better than it would have been. Mr and Mrs Miller. I love you.
How lovely
I know when I was pre10 I had a couple who would take me into their home with my sister and we would spend afternoons there. They made me a stitched mouse which I still have. Unfortunately all memories pre 10 have been taken away from me. I remember so little about my time with them but I know they gave me warmth when I was receiving none elsewhere. I often think of them today even wondering if they are still alive. X
I’m sorry you don’t have memories of them but I often think that even if your memories are hazy the feelings you have stay with you. You remember the warmth and the attention and the love they gave you. All these feelings will have in someway forged who you are today. Plus you have a stitched mouse!!
They sound like lovely people and I’m glad you have the sense on them in your soul.
Thank for sharing your story. xx Lisa
Oh you are so right. I may not have the memories but I have the feelings. How powerful. Thanks so much. I might even write a blog about this – it has stirred up some real nice feelings in me today. Thank you Lisa x
Absolutely my pleasure. If you write it I will read it.
I’m glad some happy feelings have been stirred in you today. That made me smile.
Lots of love and light to you xx Lisa
Beautiful post, thank you.
<3
What a valuable lesson: “She taught me that some things don’t would rather be doing their own thing flying free than being held onto.” Honestly, to be able to learn that at an early age was such a gift from her!!
Just like you did for Bourbon, you immediately made me think of an older couple from my childhood whom I adored!! They never had children of their own, and my sister and I loved to visit them!! My sister is quite a lot older than I am, so her visits began before I was born. Henrietta and Glen Armstrong!! I’m certain my sister took me with her to begin with, though I have no memory of this. I remember when I’d go down the block to visit. Their house was so different from ours — lots of “pretties” on shelves that little girls couldn’t reach because these things are to be looked at only and not played with since they were fragile and easily broken. Henrietta had this amazing teakettle — it was to me, anyway, since I’d never seen one like it before. It had a bird on the end of it and when the water would boil, the bird would whistle!! That absolutely fascinated my 4 year old mind!!
Some days I was lucky enough to be invited for “dinner,” which in our house was called “lunch.” I say “lucky” because Glen came home from his work every day in a suit and tie in order to have dinner with his wife. And it was a large dinner — what in our home we’d have in the evening when my dad came home from work. Every afternoon Henrietta would watch her “stories” — soap operas — and when they were over I’d have to go home because that’s when she’d take her nap. We had an agreement, which my sister had obviously made before I came along since the same thing happened to her, that I could stay until the light on the television set went out. I realize you’re too young to remember this, but this was the days of black and white tv sets only and once you turned them off, a light would remain in the middle of the screen. It would gradually grow dimmer and dimmer and smaller and smaller until it was a tiny spot and then it would disappear. I’d stand in front of their tv, my hands on my knees, my face as close as allowed and never blink an eye until that spot vanished. Then I’d go home!!
What a wonderful memory you shared and what wonderful memories you brought up!! Thank you so much, Lisa!!
And I know how much it would mean to the older people for you to visit them, because of how the ones I’ve visited have reacted to me!! Just the thoughts of you being able to take your guitar along would make them deliriously happy, I’m sure!!
You keep reaping more and more ideas to not only achieve happiness for yourself, but to pass it along to others!! I know you’re agnostic, yet I’d like to share that this is a principle from the Bible: “Give and it shall be given to you in good measure, pressed down, shaken together, overflowing.” I might not have gotten the words exactly right — somehow this Scripture remains one of those where I mix up the words — but you get the gist of it. I asked my mom once what that meant, because I couldn’t get the concept right in my mind. Since I’d watched her and my grandma in the kitchen, she used the example of a cup of flour. If the recipe calls for it, you fill a cup with flour. It’s uneven when you pour it, so you shake it down until it’s level. This leaves room for more flour. You repeat the process until the cup is full. Then, if the recipe calls for it, you pack it down — tamping on the top with a spoon. This leaves room for more flour so the process of filling it up is repeated. Then tamping on it again. At some point, if you’re not careful the cup will overflow!! Right now, Lisa, your happiness is overflowing onto others!!
Thank you!!
–Kathy
I’m so glad the post inspired you to think of an old couple from childhood you adored. It’s nice when beautiful memories are triggered.
I also just realised there is a ‘don’t’ in there that’s not meant to be! I sort of rushed that post and was crying so made a lot of mistakes!! **Edit** lol
You are right, it was an amazing gift. I think I must have been about 4 or 5 when I learned that from her.
ach…there are just some really beautiful people in the world.
Thanks again. xx
I loved reading this. A couple of summers ago I was unemployed for about four months and I volunteered almost daily at a Senior Center. Those people kept me from losing it. They helped me more than I feel like I ever helped them. I remember one particularly low day thinking ‘I wish my grandmother was still alive, she’d know what to do….’ I looked up and realized I was at a table full of grandmothers– a council of elders, if you will. They were enormously encouraging. I was lucky enough to grow up spending a lot of time with my grandparents and I think I’m a better person for it.
That was a beautiful moment of realisation. We can have as many adopted grandmothers and grandfathers as we want really. I am surprised that not more people seek out elders who have a lot to teach them. I am glad you were healed by the council of elders Kimberly and I’m glad you got to spend a lot of time with your grandparents too!
xx
I enjoyed your memories of your “older” friends. The wonderful thing about aging is that you focus on the important things like friendship and kindness with a grounding from life experiences. We can learn wisdom from “old people” and joy with exploring life from children.
Absolutely. I love spending time with my wee pal who is 9 too. I do feel joy and play more and totally have fun. Next time he is over for a visit that can be my happy thing for the day!
Thank you for your wise words. xx
Loved this post. It made me remember an old lady that I used to visit (Mrs Brady). Not sure what I was doing all that time I used to hang out at her place. What great memories. Thanks. Kat
I am loving the comments about memories sparking off other memories/feelings. We were very luck to have old people in our lives when we were young I think!
xx
This is very sweet. I love the things you write.
Thank you very much.
xxLisa
Thank you very much. ((hugs))
xx