You might have noticed a question mark above this because I’m not sure if this is making me happy or not but it’s something that should make me happier/less anxious as it goes on.
I wrote something (Not on one of my days) about being called by a phone counsellor. Weeeeeeeeeell! Very bad practice but.. I was told by the counsellor I spoke to the other day (He works in a place called Salis) that he would be talking me but then I was called up yesterday saying I was going to have an appointment with another counselling service the next day. I had already said I would rather stick to the other place because the counsellor I talked to today (Who works with Employment counselling services) only offers 6 sessions.
I said I would rather go with Salis (They may be called salice?) because they offer longer term counselling.
I would find it difficult to go through everything with someone only to have to see someone else after 6 weeks. (I say ‘see’ but I have appointments over the telephone)
I had to fill out another psychometric fucking test which I honestly hate. (Scuse the French but I feel really angry at being messed about like this) I have already said I didn’t want short term counselling, I had decided to go with Salice etc etc.
Psychometric tests always remind me of the Scene in ‘A clockwork orange’ where the woman is showing Alex pictures of weird things and asking him what he wants to do. Like a nest with birds in it “eggy weggs smash em all up” …”Yes. Good Good” (Actually those pictures might provide more insight as the person is more or less free to say what they want albeit in the confines of a story.
I was asked a little about my week which has actually been quite stressful. She asked me what I do to combat stress and I said I had started writing a blog and was exercising and trying to learn more about meditation and doing a bit of that and trying to make myself go out as much as I can. She said ‘Ok, then keep exercising, try to read more on meditation, try to go out when you can and think about whether your relationship is holding you back?! Basally she recommended everything I said I was already doing plus asked me to question my relationship because we have been going through a bit of a stressful time.
It all felt weird and at the moment I am not happy. I’m not happy at being messed around, I’m not happy that I had to do another psychometric test “On a scale of one to five, Five being very much so and one being not at all.. how sad and lonely do you feel?” I swear that was a question. That question can’t be answered by a number!! Jesus!! The only people psychometric testing helps are companies that want to fit people into boxes and categories. The annoying thing about that is that it absolutely just doesn’t work!
I actually feel depressed today..Like real depression. A dark cloud over me and I can’t seem to shift it.
So, tomorrow I will try again that forces me happy. I think life circumstances permitting. If I feel my life is falling down around my feet putting on a clowns nose and honking like a seal might not work… then again it might. I’m not sure any more.
Hopefully there will be something less negative tomorrow but for now, this is all I have in me.
I find counsellors good because it gives you someone to talk to about your problems, and if you tell them to just listen, they usually do. However, I know the feeling when you speak to someone but you’ve heard it all before. It is frustrating, so I understand how you’re feeling. I kept shopping around until I found something that made me feel better,
I feel at the moment I’m stuck with whoever is hoisted on me atm. It all seems very strange. Perhaps I should just pay for a counsellor myself instead of the ones the government prescribe.
I went to one at my Doctors surgery about 10 years ago who said I wasn’t really Gay/Bi I was just too nice to people. :O
WTF?! I think counselling is great and I want to be a counsellor.. I just think I have been unlucky. I will give this a chance though. You never know.
Thank you xxLisa
I am so sorry that you had such a crappy day! Make sure when you talk to a counselor that they are someone who you feel comfortable with. You have the right to talk with someone who is trying to understand you, who takes the time to listen, and who has your best interest at heart. Your counselor shouldn’t be suggesting that you end a relationship just because you are having a rough patch. All relationships have rough patches. Believe me… I know
So is there a way you can say… I don’t want this counselor, she is not right for me? Here’s why… I hope so, otherwise it’s a problem. Maybe she is a good counselor for someone… someone who needs to be asked hard questions to figure herself out.
Don’t let one phone call with an insensitive counselor get you down!! You are too good for that. I am sending all the happy vibes I can your way. Remember… you are a marvel, and you have a great work to do.
Don’t give up!
Love,
Rebecca
Ok! Your reply cheered me up a bit! I didn’t think that would be possible today!
Thank you so much. You are right. I need to find a counsellor I trust ..It can take time I know. I’m sure they are out there somewhere.
Thank you so much again. xx Lisa
Sometimes having someone to talk to who won’t judge you and is just there to listen is just good for the soul. I don’t know that it will make you happier, but it can’t hurt.
True. I think this counsellors listening skills weren’t so great because she would ask em a question and I would pause to think then she would ask me another question. Though It is probably harder to do phone counselling as there is no body language to look out for.
Thank you xx
I really hope that this doesn’t put you off counselling – I had one counsellor (my very first experience of counselling) who laughed at me for being scared of leaving the house and she then went on to say how she doesn’t need to do all the ‘test’ questions because I’m obviously not going to hurt anyone, she then proceeded to cancel appointments on the day and eventually, I didn’t go back. BUT I did find another counsellor and a doctor (who worked in the same surgery) who were helpful, understanding and I got a lot from. It’s so disheartening to have to answer the same questions especially when it feels like people aren’t really listening to you, just pushing you to another service or person but when you get that right person then it will all click into place x
I’m so sorry you had such a crappy experience! Wow. A counsellor who doesn’t understand agoraphobia or the onset of it is really poor. Either that or they just couldn’t care less. Either way I’m sorry that happened to you!
Yeah.. I’m going to wait for the right counsellor to come along and not give up.
Weirdly, the woman who did my initial interview about actually getting me a counsellor is a counsellor and asked me if she wanted me to have her as my counsellor (and someone else as my back to ‘health/work’ support worker). At the time I thought it would be a conflict of interests and also I liked her as my support type worker. Since then we keep having epic chats about mental health and I really like her. She is calling tomorrow to see about the mix up ..maybe I should just ask her to be my counsellor. When I typed that something clicked in my brain. Thank you! xx
Any time my coconut head friend ((((Hug))))
I always actually imagine people as their pics and am shocked when I see them.. I’m always thinking ‘Wait..your not a coconut!!’ :/ .. Weird I know..
Thank you for the hug. I needed it! xx
You did see in the news this spring the new DSM-5 or Psychiatry Bible is being printed. The counselling industry will finally have it’s wish, as according to the new definitions of illness, there will no longer be a sane person on the planet.
Oh Gah! It’s ridiculous! I really dislike the idea of psychiatric diagnosis generally because it has been proven in a lot of cases to be utter crap!
You should look up The Rosenhan experiment for evidence of that! Jebus! :/
xx
As a Buddhist I wish all peace and happiness, however I will follow the path the Buddha showed to avoid mental afflictions.
I would like to read more about him. I have a book ‘What Buddhists believe’ but I would prefer something ..well direct quotes from Buddha himself I guess..
Are there any good books you could recommend?
On the weekend I will post some resources for those who wish to learn more. Although I follow the Pure Land school, I respect all the schools. I have quoted from teachers from most of the different schools in my posts. The Buddha himself said there are 84,000 schools as not everyone needs the same message, each must walk their own path.
I like the idea of finding your own path.
Thank you for sharing. xx
I hope things get sorted out with the counselling. Sorry you’re feeling rubbish, hope things pick up soon. Not all of them will be so useless, keep going and things will improve
x
Thank you. I sort of felt a bit better after a nap.
Stuff was getting on top of me..
I just need to take it off I suppose!
xx
I know this may sound hokey, but have you read any books like “See you at the Top” by Zig Ziglar? Toxic Parents first, then See you at the Top next… Baby steps… Just be patient, there will be good days and there will be down days, but soon, you’ll find more days being up than down. It is something to look forward to! My advice when you’re feeling blue: Find something that can make you laugh and go do it. For me, watching Carol Burnett clips/bloopers on youtube just cracks me up. I watched her shows growing up and she is SO funny. I also like Tim Hawkins’ Old Rock Stars parody of Cocaine, also on youtube as well as his Walmart Greeter which is a parody of Hotel California by the Eagles. If you have any comedians you liked growing up, try to find some of their stuff on youtube and see if it can help put a smile on your face. They say laughter is some of the best medicine. It is my sense of humor that has helped keep me on an even kilter all these years, and trust me, there’s been a lot of years
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Sounds like you need a new counsellor who listens to you and respects what you have to say. I’m not a huge fan of counsellors because they typically have such varied backgrounds you don’t know where they’re always coming from (ideologically). If I find out what type of background they have it usually helps, otherwise I remain skeptical. I hope you can get your support worker to be your counsellor if that’s what you want. Ultimately, it is more about ‘fit’-you know how well you and your counsellor connect with one another. In my social work education they taught us therapy is 80% relationship, 20% technique (roughly speaking).
I really hope you are feeling better soon.
Ach.. you are a star.
Thank you!
Much love to you xxLisa
LOL, thanks. Glad I said something beneficial/positive
Counselors are a lot like hairdressers, everybody has to find one they relate to and who understands what you’re saying, even when you have trouble articulating. Keep trying, especially if you think you may be clinically depressed. One more thought: counselors are human beings, too. They have bad days and personality quirks that have nothing to do with you. Don’t blame yourself for needing to find a new one. Best wishes.
Thank you. All of what you said makes sense to me. I think what hurts the most is that I have been messed around. Asked if I wanted short term counselling and saying no but being referred anyway by the long term counsellor who said that he would be the one counselling me. It’s all really confusing and as you can tell by my blogs for the past few days I wasn’t in a great space myself. (I guess everyone has their days/weeks/years even when they feel like that).
Someone is meant to be calling me today to sort things out so I have been anxious all day about that.. I’m not even sure if they will call.
Hmm.. Its a bit upsetting like I’m not being heard in a really fundamental way. Plus I had to take 2 frigging Psychometric tests!!! Gah!!
Anyway.. I am positive it will all work out in the end!!
Thank you! xx