A fortunate find gave me my melting moment!!
At the moment I am on a benefit called ESA (Employment support allowance). When the Tory/liberal democrat (Total friggin oxymoron) coalition government got voted in they decided to scrap ‘income support’ and ‘incapacity allowance’ (which I think I was on.. it’s very confusing!!)
Anyway being on ESA I have a sort of support worker which is good. She isn’t pushing me to get a job or anything (I wouldn’t be capable of that atm but I am working on it) but she was working on making sure I was doing my course and helping me to find a counsellor so I can get better.
She is actually a counsellor herself and in our first conversation she suggested that she give me telephone counselling from the other place she works. I didn’t really know her then and mentioned that I thought there might be some ethical issues so it might be better if I saw someone else..
Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong story short.. I was messed about a bit, offered short term counselling (4-6 sessions) which I specifically said I didn’t want. I was led to believe that someone was going to be my counsellor and he wasn’t and I felt a bit vulnerable telling him some things about me.
THEN.. I asked the women who was my support worker if she could be my counsellor. We had chatted a lot by this point and I felt she ‘got me’ and I really liked her. So I was happy when she said she would sort it out last week.
THEN…. today (Do you like my dramatic THEN’s?).. she called to say she had spoken to her bosses and they said it would be a conflict of interest. (pretty much what I said ..well exactly what I said to her like 2 months ago!) She suggested I find my own counsellor.. I must admit I felt a bit sad and let down and also freaking out a bit about finding a counsellor that I could afford and that would take me on long term.
The woman from the agency had suggested I see if The open university had a counselling service as I study with them. I searched and they didn’t BUT I saw a wee post from someone who suffered from anxiety looking for the same help and someone recommended ‘Anxiety UK’
I looked on their website and they looked great so I called up right away! If you are on benefits it’s £30 for a years membership and £12 per weekly session. The sessions can last as long as I want and they do counselling and CBT. Exactly what I wanted!! The guy on the phone was lovely and really gently spoken.
I paid my membership and I am just waiting for the women from the agency to get back to me so I can ask her to fax proof that I am on benefits and hopefully soon I will have a telephone counsellor at last!!
I did feel like melting.. I honestly feel I have been bashed from pillar to post (This is not to mention all the things they kept referring me to when I was younger and I couldn’t go because I couldn’t leave my house.) It’s always felt like help has always been just out of reach. When I paid my membership I realised that Within the next month at the latest (probably even earlier) I can begin my journey with a counsellor. You can’t (well you probably can) believe the relief I feel.
When I got off the phone I got that magic feeling. Like I had accomplished something for myself (Why didn’t I know about this sooner? Actually I know ..because I assumed that I could only get counselling Via my doctor!!) ***Newsflash** My advisor woman just called and said she would send the fax off tomorrow.. being counselled is getting closer… I can feel it! **** I also felt melty because this was something I was worrying about and this charity seems amazing.
So far I would recommend anyone with anxiety/agoraphobia to look them up. I will let you know more once I get an actual appointment. ~~
I feel excited!! This has been a productive day!!
Hope you all have at least a wee bit of a melting moment at some point today!!
Love and light xxLisa