I tentatively poked my heads out the covers slunk downstairs in my PJs and made myself something to eat. I am starting to feel a little better.. (Hopefully whatever I had was just a 24 hour thing and I will feel tip top again soon)
Anyway..stick wee bit ill but …here from my death bed..struggling to hold the camera thing (actually not even looked at the vid yet)… I managed to bring you Some positive affirmations about my personality.
No, honest I did feel a bit better or it would have been another ‘Happiness is being in bed watching documentaries!!) …hehe
I found this one really difficult.. I don’t think I have ever had good self esteem regarding my insides. (personality not spleen and intestines..they are ok!) I think the more people tell me what they feel about me the better. I have noticed that hanging out with more positive people who love me and are good at expressing it has helped.
Honestly doing this blog has helped so much.. I have had so many nice comments ..I don’t know how to thank you all. I’m going to do a wee video of some of the things that were said.. which I think will make me go bright red but ..you know I really need to hear positive things about myself. It’s not just an ego boost for me it’s actually making me feel like I am a worthwhile person that deserves to exist on this planet. I know that sounds extreme.. but my internal sense of self has been very messed up for a long time!
I have met many people who over compensated for their lack of self love by sleeping around when they were younger (or still do) I’m and afraid to say I was one of those people. I don’t/can’t regret anything I have done in the past as I can’t take it back. I’m just sad for teenage/early 20′s me who put herself into stupid situations many of which I really wasn’t comfortable with just to try in any way I could to receive a sign that I was loveable.
Of course you never really do. Also you push away the people who do love you because you just can’t believe it.
I still feel in many ways unlovable but I am getting through that with the help of my partner and some amazing people I know irl and online. Again doing this blog is helping so much. (I had no idea it would as I had no idea what to expect when I started doing my daily happiness erm things and writing about them that this would happen!)
I honestly don’t think you know quite how much your positivity and kindness means to me.
Anyway back to my bed of doom.. or to go watch some cosy crap TV under a blanket!
**ETA-haha Just watched the Vid and there is a wee bit of a accidental cleavage shot at the end there.. No nipples.. so I will just leave it in.. (Please excuse me!!) -If you have just eaten your breakfast.. turn the vid off when I say Bye!! ..Also I’m going to put it in tags because I have been amusing myself and my FB friends by the google to here links.. weirdly many including various animals and even a man sniffing a bum!!! … They are just getting weirder too which makes me happy!! **