When I started this journey I knew that I wanted to look at different ways to heal myself. I wanted to look at the world of science and psychology, philosophy and spirituality.
I used to be what ‘I considered’ to be a spiritual person; I read tarot, felt presences around me, had some healing stones and used essential oils…but I was never at peace. It was like maybe I wasn’t ready…like someone who frantically tries to make a cake out of some eggs and flour when they have no stove. Erm or some other better analogy!!
I then (when I became agoraphobic) decided to study sociology, counselling and mainly psychology from home. Wee fact-Psychologists are the least likely of all professionals to believe in God or ‘spirituality’. I can see how that would happen. It is a Science that pretty much attributes what we experience to brains and society and not so much our spiritual worlds/experiences. (Though phenomenology touches on spiritual experience)
I have to admit that I was dreading the ‘spiritual’ side of things the most on this journey. I felt I had shut off that side of myself somehow. I felt more interested in the psychological side of things because that is the area I am most comfortable with and know more about. Philosophy too isn’t a far cry from Psychology as most branches of psychology come from philosophy anyway.
It has been strange though. The more I think about the idea of happiness and healing the more I find I am being led down spiritual paths or am being asked to think in a spiritual way.
Spirituality, to me is not about God (I am agnostic out of politeness I think..but If pushed I would say I was an atheist).. I mean I don’t believe in a monotheistic God that made the Universe or who looks over us. I can honestly say I wish I did because I know believing in God can offer a lot of comfort.
Spirituality to me is about feeling more connected to the Universe, to nature and accepting things that are not tangible. It is about using my mind and brain to explore transcendental experiences and not just to think about Stats and science. I wonder if the two can exist for me. Is it like a see-saw where when my spirituality levels rise my Science levels hit the ground (Hope not as I need to finish my honours degree in January!! )
I wonder how others manage to let Science and Spirituality co-exist?
I am opening myself up to spiritual ideas not just because I said I would try anything but because it feels I am being led there. I know science can explain a lot of things about happiness in relation to chemicals, neurology and loads of other ways. I was talking today to my partner actually about choice and how if we have too many choices we feel unhappy and like we have made the wrong one. If we have a choice of 3 chocolate bars and pick one we are much happier than if we have a choice of 100. The psychology of happiness could fill a thousand books. Happiness is a bit like the holy grail. It is somewhat illusive yet people have spent their entire lives trying to find it and study it.
Perhaps just knowing why we are happy or can be happy is not enough. It’s like there is no explanation behind the explanation somehow.
Hmm.. anyway.. I thought I would write to say I have been thinking a lot lately about Spirituality and what it means to me. I have a feeling I will be changed by this process.
Perhaps I am ready now?
Love and light xx