I don’t think there is anything that can make you feel more happy than if you know you are adding to the quality of a person’s life especially when they need your help.
You know that My partner and I sometimes look after our wee Pal Michael. We take him to swimming lessons, take him for the weekend and take him on wee holidays. We are in a position at the moment where we need to look after him for ..a while.
I think it’s a privilege to be able to do so but it is also bitter sweet because his family are working through issues at the moment and that’s why he has to stay with us.
At the moment we are helping out a friend but more importantly we will be looking after Michael and helping him through.
I know that My partner is a natural with Children and has great training being a Social worker. My knowledge is mainly ..well I suppose the fact I have looked after Michael for short periods of time before but also I have studied counselling and psychology (Child psychology for a year which is handy). I’m a bit nervous because I know that over the weekend things will be ok but I also know that he has some problems that I know will manifest and I just hope I am capable of dealing with them. I hope I will be able to.
I hope that his family can sort things out and he will be back soon but I am happy we can help. It’s not just the amount of time we spend looking after Michaels needs I hope also that in looking after him, somehow his life will be more enriched.
I love passing on knowledge (Even when people don’t wan’t to hear it!) 
Michaels brain is like a sponge at the moment and he loves learning so I will enjoy that side of things! (haha Not saying I have much knowledge btw..just that I enjoy passing it on!! )
This is just something we learned we would be doing very last minute so Expect the next wee while of happy things to involve a child too!!
I have spent the day clearing space for him and making the bedroom feel that it is more ‘his’. In saying that one of the times he was here he put a lot of my DVDs in a box, put them in that room and wrote on the Box ‘Michaels DVDS!!!’ lol.. He also put clothes that were dirty (I just realised there) In the drawers in that room. I think he feels it’s his space already. We ordered some posters for him and will let him decorate the way he wants.
I better go because actually he will be back from School soon and I need to make him a sandwich.
Obviously, helping to look after someone doesn’t need to be literally looking after them for a while, it can be caring for a friend when they are not well or helping out when they need you. I know I have been doing daft things on some days to make me smile.. I think they are important too because laughing is such a gift. I knew this before I began this journey, that the times I am the happiest is when I am helping other people. I think this is programmed into us.
Gah! Got to go now.. xx
Aw, that’s so nice you get to look after Michael for a bit. Hopefully his family will sort thing quickly though. I’m sure you and your partner will do fine looking after him. Sounds like you have his best interests in mind which is a great start. He sounds like an entertaining child with his antics, LOL. Most young children can be quite entertaining I find
It’s nice he has you and your partner to be there for him and help his parents by keeping him for a bit. Hope today is not too stressful! 
Thank you. Yes! I think kids are hilarious.. I think partly because I’m a big kid myself.
Thank you. xx
It’s true. Helping people makes you happy. I think it is what life is all about. Helping each other along the way. When times are dark there are those who always reach out and help. They are the ones that end up being the happiest. Selflessness is happiness. I think we find these days people push that if you take more time for you, you will be happy. If you buy more things for you, you will be happy. And while I agree that time for yourself is important (so you can recharge), I don’t believe that is when you are happiest. I believe that we are happiest when we are serving others. That is when we discover our true purpose in life.
Have fun with Michael. I know you will do great!
<3 Rebecca
Thank you Rebecca. Having loads of fun already. I know I am good at the fun parts anyway!!
Hoping the rest will fall into place.
I believe that we are here to help each other. I think it is programmed into us. We are social creatures. I think helping can be spiritual even though I know there is a whole big psychological reason behind it too. I don’t think everything can be explained by evolutionary psychology though.. there are some people who just never want to help others and some who will drop what they are doing to help you.
I think you are right..nothing can make you feel happier than knowing you have made someone else happy or helped them when they needed it.
<3 xxLisa
I think that people who are not willing to help someone else are really deep down inside unhappy. They may try to tell you otherwise, and they may fill their days with selfishness, thinking that is the way to be happy, but they are not. As soon as they realize that giving is the way to real happiness, it will make all the difference.
There are so many books out there that state this truth. Charles Dickens’ a Christmas Carol is a well known one. One of my favorites to read to children is The Quiltmaker’s Gift by Jeff Brumbeau and if you like that one, The Quiltmaker’s Journey by the same author is amazing too. The Quiltmaker’s Gift is a story about a greedy king, who wants this quilt maker to give him a quilt… I can’t tell you anymore… you just have to read it because I don’t want to spoil it!
Love ya! Say hi to Michael for me
<3 Rebecca
Yes. That makes sense. A bit like The Grinch!
xx
Exactly!!
It does indeed Forcingmyselfhappy and 2ofUm. I think we often forget to laugh, too, when we are done. Of course we often don’t stop laughing when we are up. Does that balance us out?
Perhaps my takeaway from this is that I need to find a way to laugh, and help others when I down to bring some internal happiness.
Thanks!
I think so. Before I started this I could go a while without laughing.. I don’t think I ever really thought about it. Now that I am trying to do something to make myself happy every day I am becoming more aware of laughing and having fun as well as doing things that will make me happier long term.
I think happiness can be a long term thing we work at but it should also be something we feel every day because…. well It feels lovely and it’s free.
Your idea sounds great. Find a way to make you and the people around you laugh, even when you are feeling down. There is always something that will make you giggle. Even if you force it at first …laughter comes and all those feel good chemicals are released!
Happy erm being happy.
xx
When we try to make ourselves happy we help one person be happy. When we help someone else be happy, it multiplies, and we gain as much as the other person. So wishing the three of you a very happy weekend.
So true. What a beautiful statement!
xx
When we look after people, we feel useful; that’s not to devalue the helping others into something egotistical, it’s nature’s way to make us altruistically inclined. Of course, there are enough individuals who don’t enjoy helping others. The reasons are as unique as the people who have them, but I can imagine a scenario where someone is traumatized by ingratitude and betrayal after an act of kindness – let’s just not go there, OK? On a side note: a study some years ago found that able elderly people helping disabled peers had a higher life expectancy than able elders with similar physical activities who only looked after themselves. Give, and you shall receive; no religion required for that to be true
I read a similar study which talked about higher sociability being correlated to longer life expectancy. Whether the study was about feeling useful or being involved in the community and being more social doesn’t really matter ..helping others makes us happier and healthier. It’s certainly a win win situation.
Weirdly I find it difficult to accept help myself.. I think that is an important lesson too.
I like the line “The greatest thing we’ll ever learn, if just to love and be loved in return” …I guess when you are helping someone you are showing love.. I always found the ‘be loved in return bit difficult’ – buuuut I think its a package deal ‘in order to love you have to be able to allow love into your life’ I think its the same with helping ‘You give out and you have to accept that this is going to make you feel good in return’… well generally.. I suppose there would be exceptions..
xx
Good for you! It’s always good to test-drive having children before you buy.
Hey, if I come there, will you make me a sandwich too? It will need to be gluten-free though. And possibly bread-free. Sorry.
Sure! Come around any time for a ‘Piece’ as we call them In Scotland. I have a couple of friends who are gluten Intolerant so I always keep gluten free rolls and lots of rice crackers so you would be fine!
Well, actually we had thought of fostering but I wanted to wait till I knew my anxiety was under control. You know, I have learned though, when I need to look after someone I don’t get anxious… It’s strange.
I have found that before that I have coped when there was an emergency and freaked out later on.. I’m not sure whether I have some sort of emergency calm that kicks in..
Love and light xx
Thats so lovely of you and your partner!
Wishing you lots of happy fun nights together.xx
Thank you. I’m sure we will get a lot out of it too.
xxLisa